When the Differences are Too Many for a Successful Relationship
Commonality is something that all relationships need a bit of in order to work out and be long term. This is always a better thing when each of you likes a lot of the same things. That list would include things like the same types of music, movies, the same activities, and agreeing on religion.
Lots of couples tend to have little in common on the surface, yet they get along famously and maintain great relationships. Most likely, these couples have learned how to balance the differences in their personalities and have actively searched for common interests to home in on so that they will have some things that they can do together. It can be done in many cases, but for others, the differences can be just too much for sustain a relationship.
In the very beginning, when you’ve just met someone and are getting to know them, it’s time to find out what this person’s interests are. This is when you need to ask questions that are pertinent to you and your lifestyle. The answers that you get will give you the springboard you need to decide if this is a potential relationship that you want to pursue.
There are many things that you can get past when it comes to having differences in likes and dislikes. However, there are other things that need to be looked at closely before moving ahead. For example, if one of you is a devout fundamentalist Christian and you’re a practicing Pagan, chances are you wouldn’t ever meet up in the same places anyway. On the other hand, if you’re a Catholic and he’s of the Jewish faith, many couples have made this particular situation work. It only becomes a bit complicated if the couple decides to have children but the solution reached is usually a fair one for everyone.
Differences in such things as music and movies don’t have to be a deal breaker, either. This is where compromise comes into play. You agree to go to a wrestling match if your partner will attend the ballet or opera with you. In time, such things may actually grow on you a bit.
The point is that couples can still be individuals even when they are in a relationship with each other. It can even become more interesting when there are plenty of differences. It helps each partner be more involved in learning new things.
For example, if one of you is really into camping and the other one’s idea of camping is a night spent at the Motel 6, if you start out easy, you may find that camping can bring you lots of pleasure. Of course, then your partner must agree to that night or weekend in a high end hotel or a romantic bed and breakfast of your choosing.
It’s really all about compromising. However, if you love curling up by the fire on a rainy day with a good bestseller and your partner’s idea of reading is guffawing through a comic book, you may want to look closely at what life will be like with this person.